


Miles Away

by orphan_account



Series: Size Issue [2]
Category: NSYNC
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-10
Updated: 2010-03-10
Packaged: 2017-10-07 20:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin thinks differently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miles Away

The future stretches ahead of Justin like a clean, straight mile. There's an unerring sense of inevitability to it that he senses. There's the baby and the gorgeous dark-haired, blue-eyed wife on the right, the Grammy he knew he deserved on the left, the solo career everyone knew he was planning for down the road.

He compares it to maps, which he loved poring over. Only JC knows of this, that if he was ever deprived of basketball and music, that he would have something to do with maps. He thrives on knowing where he's going. He likes the romance of old maps, which JC had sometimes picked up for him. Not anymore though.

Right now, even though he is on top of the world, he feels as though he's on cruise control. He finds it frightening that he likes it so much, because he might never be able to stop. So he chooses to exert control in ways that show people that he is definitely in control of this roller coaster of a ride, even though the knowledge is bedrock in him that in the end, it's the fans who are in control. Time is in control. Budding estrogen is in control. He's Justin Timberlake now, but could just as easily be Jordan Knight tomorrow, a relic of teenagers past whose only evidence now might be a sticker in an old diary somewhere, to be blushed at with embarrassment when the owner finds it years later.

Writing _Pop_ the grandest gesture of control.

***

Justin remembered the time when he kissed JC, and found it to be the most exhilarating experience of his life, like he were strapped to a bungee cord with a continuous and maximized tension, each swing visceral, pounding, throbbing and new. Each kiss felt the same, and he found it exciting and scary at the same time.

He had just made plans with JC hours before, and went into his hotel room. He caught JC naked and was arrested by the sight of it. Slender limbs and sleek muscle, all coated with a fine sheen of moisture. Hair slicked back on his head. A cock nestled in hair, oddly vulnerable and incredibly erotic.

He felt something tilt off its axis.

"Sorry C. Teach me to knock," he had said, and walked away without looking back, but with each step accelerating, each breath quickening until he reached his own room, where he collapsed on the bed as soon as he got to it. He blocked out the image of JC's incredibly hurt face, those eyes watery with shock, those thin shoulders caving in as if deprived of bone.

"No," he said aloud in the room, and even he realized the emptiness of that.

***

Life isn't geography, with neat lines and degrees of distance. He knows this now, and more importantly, believes it.

He notices JC right across from him, staring at the rushing scenery, his new way of avoiding Justin's eyes whenever they're on the bus.

There are hundreds of miles ahead of them.

 

THE END


End file.
